[What if...]

I was driving into work this morning and I saw the sunrise in the rearview mirror, it was hidden yet coming forth from the clouds, then as I was about to get on the interstate I saw a beautifully complete rainbow encircling all of downtown Nashville.

In that moment a thought crossed my mind and I think it was from the Holy Spirit “What if…”

The thought was a glimmer of hope in a dark and scary world that is in one of the lowest places it has been in for a long while. The thought was this:

“What if… although the first half of the year 2020 was the worst 6 months the globe has experienced since the ice age, now that it is July 1st and we are entering into the second half of the year, what if… everything turns around to make for the greatest 6 months we have seen as a globe EVER!!!”

And the thought continued…

What if… although the COVID-19 (corona virus) pandemic, has infected and killed thousands and millions of people everywhere, in the next 6 months the life-saving gospel of King Jesus goes viral and people go from spiritual death to spiritual life, with one billion souls coming to know Jesus as their savior and King (After all, corona in Spanish is translated to crown in English, and crowns are what Kings wear).

What if… although there has been so much pain and confusion with the killing of George Floyd unveiling the deeper racial divides in our nation and the world than we would like to acknowledge or think about, in the next 6 months people of all different races and backgrounds came together, were intentional about understanding and supporting each other, starting with Church leaders and pastors black, white, yellow, orange becoming friends and sharing meals together to understand and love each other, thus eclipsing in diverse communities that celebrate their differences and champion their each others cultures.

What if… although there were tornadoes that tore through Nashville destroying historic music venues like the Basement East, closing my favorite burger restaurant in Nashville (Burger Up east), tearing out trees on Holly Street among others in Lockeland Springs, etc., in the next 6 months angels flooded Nashville and songs from heaven were written by singer-songwriters all around town, young and old, neighborhoods stopped building fences between lots, started community gardens and Trees of Hope were planted where every tree was town down, showing that not only are we Nashville Strong but we are Nashville Steadfast and we’re not going anywhere!

What if… although there were uncontrollable fires in Australia that burned huge land masses across the entire country, in the next 6 months the presence of the Holy Spirit fell like fire and people encountered the living, tangible God who loves them and miracles, signs and wonders went rampant as the Holy Spirit leads those who are devoted to Jesus to be completely surrendered to His will and desires. Come Holy Spirit! Maranatha!

What if… although there were millions of locusts that devastated East African countries, eating their crops and thus ending their only means of providing for their family and community, in the next 6 months there was such a Great Harvest of plenty in Africa and around the world where fruits and vegetables grew to abnormal sizes like in the small town of Almolonga, Guatemala which is known for supernaturally Big vegetables (look it up, their carrots are HUGE!).

What if… although there is talk about a new swine flu that might be another upcoming pandemic, in the next 6 months old songs from God-fearing saints were re-sung and re-written like Josh Garrells’ remake of “Farther Along” originally written by Barney Elliott Warren in 1911, and as these songs were broadcasted over airwaves everyone who heard these heavenly melodies was healed from the flu, from anxiety, depression but even more so the crippling fear that the news/media is trying to hold us in and control us by (If you do not yet already, I suggest one day of the week fasting from news/social media, it will really help with lowering anxiety).

And finally, What if… although there has been such polarizing political division which has pulled apart families even worse than the Nashville tornadoes and has turned once thriving friendships into bitter begrudging, no longer talking acquaintances, in the next 6 months people loved each other. There was no longer only Red and Blue political people but there were PURPLE PEOPLE, who saw things from BOTH SIDES, through a lens of understanding and chose relationship over being right, chose compassion over prideful argument winning, and chose to listen before speaking because after all, the “best way to love someone is to listen to them” -Michael Card.

One of my favorite stories in the Bible is a story that goes from Famine to Feasting in One. Single. Day.  It is where Israel is devastated in a famine from having so little because they are being attacked by their enemies from all around (I am paraphrasing). But then the prophet Elisha says that in one day they will go from famine to FEASTING (I am also paraphrasing, but I encourage you to read it in 2 Kings 6:24-7:20). And within one days time they have so much food and money and the currency rate is better than it’s been before that they don’t know what to do with it all! God uses Elisha to release a prophetic word of Hope that changes everything. I think that can happen. But only God can make it happen.

When I saw that Rainbow this morning it made me think of the original Rainbow that God displayed to humankind as a covenant with all of humankind after Noah’s Ark, where God said that he would never again wipe out all of humanity because of our wickedness and rebellion to Him but that He would have Mercy on us even though we don’t deserve it. So that is my ask to God. God we don’t deserve Your grace but would You deliver us from this first half of 2020 being the worst year we’ve ever had to the second half being the best year we’ve ever had. And Heavenly Father, may we not take any credit for it but only point to it being Your gracious hand that delivers us as we humble ourselves, repent for our sins, turn towards You and acknowledge that You are our Lord and Provider (2 Chronicles 7:14).

What if… God answered this prayer.

And what if… the second half of 2020 started with you praying it to Him.

May your love be strong,

Joseph

[What Would Michael Say?]

I have been thinking and praying and pondering how to respond to everything that has been going on surrounding racism, what the black community is going through right now and how white people are responding. Should I post a black square? Should I share someone else’s Instagram story to enlighten myself and others? Should I keep checking social media as it just makes me more frustrated? I had to pause, gather myself and write this. So here it is.

I just have to start by saying that my heart is really heavy for the black community. Black lives do matter a whole lot and black voices need to be heard right now. Especially those that rise above the chaos, speak truth and give clear unifying vision. 

One of the biggest passions in my heart is racial reconciliation and ever since I moved to Nashville I have been investing in the lives of young black teenagers, many of whom do not have positive male role models in their lives. One of these guys’ names is Samari. I love Samari. I met him at my church’s youth group where I was helping out and we started hanging out regularly. I would go to his house, pick him up, we would grab a donut or a milkshake, he would teach me some dance moves, we’d talk about Spider-Man - all of his favorite things. 

One day I was dropping him off and we were parked outside his house. It was one of those moments where you are just sitting in the car in silence and peace, pondering whatever thoughts may come to mind. All of a sudden completely out of the blue Samari says “I miss Michael”. I looked at him kind of confused. “Who is Michael?!” I said, thinking it was a childhood friend or maybe some uncle who passed away. He looked at me as if to say ‘you should know who Michael is’ and he said matter a factly “Michael Jackson!”. Now, at the time Samari was probably 12 years old, which means he was around 5 years old when Michael Jackson passed away. I chuckled to myself because the way he mentioned “Michael” made it sound like it was his best friend whom he grew up with.

But later as I thought of that moment with Samari, I realized that Michael was his biggest role model even though he never met him in-person and was so young when he died. Samari loved all his songs, knew some of his dance moves, of course Samari referred to him in the first person because he was at the top of his list of heroes.

So in the midst of everything that is going on right now, it made me think… what would Michael say?

I think that Michael was revolutionary. He shaped culture and pioneered music much more than people realize. I believe in the power of words. The words that we speak shape the way that we think, but even more so, the words that we sing become a part of our identity. His words shaped the identity and beliefs of so many people.

One of my favorite Michael songs is “Man in the Mirror”. It is such a beautiful song speaking about Change and Personal Responsibility. In listening to this song I realized, Michael already has said something and I think it’s time that we listen:

“I’m starting with the man in the mirror, I’m asking him to change his ways. No question could have been any clearer, If you want to make the world a better place take a look at yourself and then make that change”.

It’s that simple and it’s that hard. 

I see a lot of people fired up about injustice over racism right now. And a lot of them are white, which is good because it shows that they care. But for a lot of those same people I have never seen a black person in any of their Instagram pictures, in fact I don’t know if they even have one close black friend. It’s a lot easier to post a black square than to take the effort to get outside of your comfort zone and actually become close friends with a black person. To invest in that relationship knowing that the perspective and value that that person will bring to your life will be the very thing that helps dissolve the invisible walls of segregation in our society. Actions speak much louder than words and I love what Michael said. Let’s not just point at a problem and get angry, let’s realize that we are part of the problem and see what we each can do differently to bring about a solution. 

We need people in our lives that are different than us. People who have different opinions, skin colors, and ideas. If we were to be drawn to those kinds of people instead of huddling in our comfortable circles that look exactly like us, then there would be a lot less noise on social media right now because people would be more concerned with having actual conversations with each other instead of posting their one-sided opinion and leaving it be. I think it’s important that we listen before we speak. We have two ears and one mouth, so we should listen twice as much. I am grateful for Samari because being around him opens my eyes to what the world looks like from his perspective. And it looks a lot different than mine. 

I also need him to help me learn how to not dance like a white boy. 

But that will take a little bit more time ;)

May your actions show that your love is strong,

Joseph

p.s. I didn’t post a black square and I didn’t go to any of the protests either. But I have spent the last 6 and a half years consistently investing in young mens lives who are black, mentoring them, learning from them, grabbing Chipotle with them. I think relationship is more important than anything we post on social media. A lot of people are hopping on the bandwagon of standing up against racial injustice right now. I encourage you to make an honest assessment of your friendships. How many of your close friends are black? If the answer is 0 then start by changing that before trying to change a systemic thing. If you can’t change yourself, then you can’t change a system. That’s my two cents.

July 27th - A Story of Love & Loss

As I get older I feel there is more significance as one year rolls past to the next.

Maybe it’s me realizing that the years are going by and I don’t want to miss them so I try to catch them while they are still close. Or maybe it is that I realize the importance of reflection, because as I once heard a wise man say “Learning = Experience + Reflection” -Alyn Jones. And I have a lot of experiences but don’t always take the time to reflect.

Thus I reflect.

As I look back on 2019 it is difficult to fully capture everything that happened this year. To summarize it in one sentence I would say – This year changed my life.

This year changed my life.

So many first time life experiences, falling in love with my future wife, traveling to South America, But let me get more specific because there was one particular day this year that changed me forever. One day that changed everything. One day that went from the highest high to the lowest low. That day was July 27th, 2019.

Before arriving in San Francisco to spend the weekend with my family and propose to my then girlfriend, Selene, I gave my friend Duncan a call to see if he could pick us up from the airport and meet my future wife.

There’s no one quite like Duncan Brown. Black hair, blue eyes, inquisitive beyond measure. You know that phrase “Jack of many trades master of none”? Well for Duncan it is more like “Master of many trades, jack of none”. Duncan was 3 years younger than me in high school but became close friends with my friend group and even followed me to Occidental College where he was a double major in Biology and Spanish. He was kind of like a younger brother to me, as he was an only child. He would call me up every other month. And whenever I was back in my hometown of Sebastopol I would see Duncan. We would grab ice cream at Screamin’ Mimi’s. He and his mother even taught me how to make sourdough bread.

Anyways, Duncan didn’t pick up the phone, so after it went to voicemail I told Selene about my wonderful friend who I looked forward to her meeting. “There is no one quite like Duncan. Though he didn’t always fit in in high school he is the kind of person that is going to excel in whatever he does. I think he will be a CEO or the leader of a big company in the future, probably learn 5 languages, there are no limits for what he will do, he’s just so passionate about life and about meeting people”. It was a Wednesday, just a normal Wednesday. Nothing particularly good or bad about it.

A few days later was July 27th, the day I had planned to propose to my then girlfriend. We had a beautiful morning in the Redwood forest and then I prepared a delicious pick nick for us to enjoy as we overlooked the rustic Pacific Ocean at a beautiful beach called Goat Rock Beach. Then we came home where I was planning the grand finale. Asking the love of my life to spend the rest of her life with me. I had a missed call from my friend Jack and I was planning on calling him back on the drive home but somehow it slipped my mind. I think it was God’s grace knowing that had I heard the news from Jack it would have changed everything about the day.

We arrived at my parent’s house on the apple orchard. We have a statue of an apple tree at my house with 6 bluebirds in it, one represents each member of our family (my parents and the 4 boys). When Selene was in university her friend group called themselves The Bluebirds. So I wrote a poem for Selene in Spanish (Her first language, she is from Colombia). And in the last line I asked her to be my bluebird. In Spanish. Then I played for her a song I had written for her.

Words are important and sometimes they are thrown around so much that they seem to lose value.  Up until that point I had not told any girls I had dated “I love you”. I wanted to save those 3 words for the woman I was going to marry. So the last line of the song I told her “There’s 3 words I’ve been waiting to say to you, but I think I will start by saying 2 – Te amo (I love you in Spanish)”. Then I got down on my knee and asked her to marry me. After her tears and saying thank you she said Yes. Then I said to her in English “I love you”. It was so beautiful. We then took communion with a bottle of my brother’s wine and then sang a worship song “Good Grace” with my parents. God is the center of our relationship so we wanted to honor Him first and foremost. 

Perfect is a big word. But I’m going to use it. It was perfect. 

Laying in bed that evening reflecting on such a beautiful day, as any good millennial does I was scrolling through Instagram. I saw a picture of Duncan with Jack and some writing below it that said Rest in Peace…WHAAAAT 

Then I saw on my friend Ben’s Instagram the same picture and some words memorializing Duncan’s life. I couldn’t believe what I was reading. How could Duncan have died? I just called him on Wednesday. Wouldn’t this be on the news?! So I looked it up on Google and saw that Duncan was flying with his mom and dad and their plane crashed just outside an airport in Nebraska at 2:35pm on Wednesday. The day I had called him. 

My heart sank. It was real. Duncan was dead. And I didn’t know what to do. I got up and started nervously pacing around the house. Then I told my Dad. He said he knew but he didn’t want to tell me earlier that day because he knew I had been planning to propose. He didn’t want to ruin the best day of my life.

So there I was on July 27th. I had just made the biggest decision of my life (besides following Jesus) to marry Selene and then I found out that my dear friend Duncan had died.  

Life and Death.

Side by side.

As if to taunt each other.

As if to say “cherish every moment of this life because in one moment this life will be gone”.

As if to say “Pick up the phone Joseph when friends are calling you, even if they ramble on for tens of minutes because if you don’t you will be left with a voicemail that starts with – Hey this is Duncan, and ends with you wishing you had never taken his calls for granted”. 

Life is so beautiful. And death is so permanent. But it doesn’t have to be.

That’s what I learned this year.

Bible & Passport

I have a crazy story to share with you. It is a story of faith, adventure and finding someone special.

I spent the past week in Toronto, Canada and found all of the above. The thing that makes it a little crazy is that I showed up to the airport with:

-A Bible

-A passport

-$72 cash

No wallet, no credit cards, no luggage or extra clothes, toothbrush, deodorant, dental floss, extra boxers, none of that! Now you are probably thinking “why would you do that, Joseph?”. It had a twofold purpose:

1 - I wanted to have to depend and rely on God and get an opportunity to experience Him as my provider. Also, there is a verse that says “It is impossible to please God without faith” Hebrews 11:6. So this was an opportunity for me to please God by stepping out in radical faith.

2 – In Luke chapter 10 where Jesus sends out 72 disciples to share the gospel He tells them to go in pairs of twos and to not bring an extra shirt or shoes, just what they are wearing and whichever houses welcome them in to bless them with peace. Hence, me choosing $72.

SO, the adventure begins! I had a stopover in NYC and on a shuttle to a different terminal I struck up a conversation with a lady who it turned out was also going to Toronto and she loved Jesus. We ended up praying for each other in the airport and then she said that God told her to buy me lunch!! So I got a delicious double cheeseburger, fries and a chocolate milkshake from Shake Shack. Jehovah Jirah – God provides! As I landed in Toronto and checked my phone one of my close friends had sent me $75 dollars! So before I even left the airport I had more than doubled my money and I had eaten a huge lunch and it was all God’s kindness and provision. Him showing me that He would meet each of my needs through the generosity of those around me.

In Toronto, I met with a friend of a friend, her name was Selene and she had agreed to show me around Toronto and help me get connected. When we had talked previously I had told her that I was coming to Toronto, I really loved Jesus, and was hoping to serve in the city. So she met me at the airport with an apple, a warm cup of tea and the exact bus fair ($3.25) for me to get on the metro. I love apples, grew up on an apple orchard and so apples are my primary love language. God cares so much about the small details. We spent the day together, went to a worship night potluck where there was plenty of delicious food and then her friends Shannon and Brandon kindly let me sleep in their guest room at their house. Day number 1 in the books, Jehovah Jirah, the Lord provides.

I won’t go into all the details of how the week went but it was incredible. Probably the best week of my life. The Lord provided for me, I was able to eat every meal every day (except for one day when we were fasting), have more than enough to give to others, I got more clothes, two toothbrushes, some sweet turquoise boxers, everything I needed and then some. The Lord put on my heart that whenever someone on the street asked me for money or needed something, to give to them – “Freely you have been given, so freely you shall give” (Matthew 10:8). And did I mention I always had more than enough to give?

There is power in twos and as the week went on I realized that I was crazy about this girl Selene and we were a powerful duo. So one night I gave her 3 flowers and told her how I felt. She felt the same and I could talk pages and pages more about that but that will be for another blog. This one is about how God is our provider.

The biggest lesson I learned is that I have missed out a lot on experiencing God as a provider because I have had all of my needs met here in the US and I am completely comfortable. I have a car to get me wherever, I have a credit card to get food, and I have insurance and access to a hospital if I get hurt. When we have all of our needs met often we will only reach out to God if something catastrophic happens in our life or for our list of “Wants”. And that is the main reason that probably 95% of people pray to God, so that He will help us get those “Wants”. The funny thing about that is that those “Wants” make us more comfortable and even less dependent upon God and less in relationship with Him. So it places God in a tricky place. He’s like the Dad at the Superhero themed kids birthday party who is telling his son not to eat too many cupcakes or he will get sick on the ride home, but once he has one you know he’s going to keep going back for more, he ain’t grabbing any of the celery sticks after he’s discovered the dessert table. And yes, he ends up yacking in his car seat on the drive home. Sorry for that imagery.

Anyways, the moral of the story - God is a provider and He wants to show us how good at providing for us He is but sometimes that requires us to take a leap of faith into the unknown where we are not so comfortable, where we cannot do it on our own but we actually NEED Him. God is like bread, He likes to be kneaded (ok, bad Dad joke).

I hope you are encouraged. I hope you know that you are loved by God and He cares about the details of your life and He wants to be involved in it. He is the best story-teller and when we are walking with Him, in relationship with Jesus and following the Holy Spirit we end up having some of the best stories!

Let your love be strong,

Joseph

[Why I'm Not Joey Anymore]

Words are important. And so are names.

Your name is important because it shapes who you are and who you are becoming. Many people do not know the meaning of their own name and neither did I until several years ago. But I had a Godly man in my life share with me his vision statement for his life. And when I heard him speak it, I was invigorated with purpose. It made me realize that no small attribute about me was made by mistake. God is very purposeful with how He designs each of us and our name is arguably one of the most important factors that shapes our destiny and purpose in life. So I started looking at my name and figuring out what it means. This is what I discovered:

Joseph means God will Increase

Michael means Who is like God

Maloney means Consecrated to God

As I meditated on these things and realized that my name means that God will increase in my life I began to write a statement of purpose and vision for my life that began something like this “I am Joseph. I am a dreamer, a creator, and a true worshipper. As Joseph God’s promise to me is that He will increase in every area of my life: Hunger, Faith, Wisdom, Creativity, Leadership, Perspicaciousness..” It goes on, that’s just a taster! Anyways, I declare this over myself every morning looking in the mirror and I would advise you to consider doing so as well because it is Powerful and will change your life.

So, I was at a crossroads in my life transitioning from working for a church to pursuing medicine, and after a church service a guy named Michael came up to me and said “You are no longer Joey, you are now Joseph!”. In that moment I felt like I finally had license to go by my original name. I felt a significance of the moment almost of me going from a boy into a man or a stepping into the greater calling that God had for my life. As I thought more about it I realized that when people call me Joseph they are declaring God’s promise over my life and saying to me “GOD WILL INCREASE IN YOUR LIFE!”, every time someone calls me Joseph, that is what they are doing and I kinda like that!!! Because a Joey is a kangaroo that hops around in the Outback of Australia but a JOSEPH is a man with a promise over his life that God will bless him with abundance!

SO, I’m no longer going by Joey. Now I’m going by Joseph.

To those of you who have called me Joey for years and years and feel weird calling me Joseph, that is totally ok, you can still call me Joey if you want to. But know that I am Joseph, that’s always been my name and I am now stepping into the fullness of it. And I hope that every time you think about how weird it feels calling me Joseph instead of Joey, it makes you think about the significance of a name, more specifically the significance of YOUR name and you begin to discover what your name means and what people are declaring over you every time they say “Hey Sheila! (or insert name of person reading this right now)”

Thanks for reading this, God bless you. You matter. Your name matters. And the name of Jesus has authority over anxiety and depression :)

Let your love be strong,

Joseph

[When Your Friend Dies]

I have a friend.. Let me start this over.

I had a friend named Ryan. Ryan McCormack was something else. I found out a few days ago that he took his own life. Myself and our whole friend circle has been devastated. What do you do when your friend dies? I think it is important to grieve, to remember and to eventually celebrate the life lived. Ryan was someone special.

But let me give you some background on our friendship. We met while studying abroad in New Zealand. We both were looking for adventure and within weeks we had bought a car together with one other friend and were exploring every mountain river and coastline. Our friend group would go on these epic hiking (In NZ they call it tramping) voyages. We grew so close together within that span of 6 months. Something special, perhaps even magical happened that sealed us together. A beautiful thing happens when you put that unique list of ingredients together. The equation looks something like this

Young people discovering who they are + Adventure + awesome soundtracks + New Zealand = instant lifelong friendships

Ryan was one of those guys who was totally and uniquely himself. With the combination of thoughtfulness, quirkiness, spontaneity and depth he was one of those friends that filled a category that only he created. There was no competition for that friend spot because Ryan was the only one who could fill it. And now that he is gone that spot will be strangely amiss. But it will live on in our memory.

So I’ve found myself in this strange place. This season of my life is one of the busiest I’ve been in in a long time and then to hear this news it totally took me by surprise. To be completely honest I’ve felt somewhat numb to the reality of it. Maybe part of it is that with so much going on it is hard to take the time to fully grieve or maybe it’s part of the grieving process, denial. But there are 3 things that I really wanted to say.

1. Grieving is something that is so important. It is something that our culture does not do well. You cannot selectively numb emotions, if you numb the pain of grieving then you will not be able to feel the fullness of joy. Grieving is beautiful and death is a part of life. There is no beginning without an end. We are only here for a short amount of time.

2. Mental Health issues do not receive the compassion or understanding that they deserve. You see someone with a cast on their arm or a boot on their foot and instantly you know that they have a broken bone and you offer to open the door for them. With mental health it is a lot more complicated than that yet the amount of compassion offered is significantly less. People often just say “get over it” or “Oh yeah I’ve been through that before, you’ll get through it”. But that doesn’t solve the problem. Fixing people never solves the problem. Sitting with people in there mess is a step in the right direction though.

3. There is always hope. God is real and He loves you and has a divine purpose for your life. He wants you to be fully alive and His perfect love was demonstrated by Jesus dying to save you from all the junk that separates us broken people from a perfect God. God is not about us being “religious" or following a set of traditions, He is about us being real and raw with Him. He wants relationship. And it’s crazy how God responds when you cry out and ask Him/Her/It (whatever you want to say, God goes beyond gender because God created gender - I use He because I see Him as a loving and protective Father) to reveal Himself to you. There is more to life than what you see. Also, angels are real too.

The end.

May Your love be strong,

Joey

p.s. Ryan is in the middle of the picture. We bought jeans at goodwill and turned them into jorts as we were planning to go to a roller derby and hoping to fit in. People are different in New Zealand.. and so were we.

[The Brave Little Tomato]

I am a dreamer. Perhaps to a fault. I just love to dream. To think of things that are not as if they are. 

But here’s the thing I’ve learned about dreaming. It is so easy to dream without anything actually happening with that dream. I’ve found that there are Dreamers and Doers and when those people come together a beautiful, tangible, product comes forth that you can hold in your hands. It is no longer just a dream that floats up into the air like a large bubble at a carnival which eventually pops and is gone. It is a Product, that can be sealed, stamped and sent to London.

One of my dreams is to write children’s stories. I have four ideas which I am excited about but one of them will be called “The Brave Little Tomato”.

 [ Queue Intense preview trailer voice ]

"In a world with only fruits and vegetables that CAN’T SEEM TO GET ALONG!"

The scene is set in a made up world called Gardenia where there is a civil war between the fruits and the veggies and no matter their efforts the conflict only worsens. That is until one unsuspected brave soul rises to the occasion. 

His name is Barry. And He is a small adolescent Tomato, with clunky black-frame glasses. Quite the unlikely hero he is. Bullied throughout his elementary years in school because of his stuttering problem but even more so because he didn’t fit the mold of the cool Fruit crowd or the learned Veggie clique. Caught in-between two worlds Barry decides to focus on what brings Produce together instead of what pulls them apart. When the conflict reaches it’s climax Barry steps in the middle and shouts at the top of his little tomato lungs “C-C-Can’t we all get along!”. In one brave act of heroism the leaders of the fruits and veggies decide to come together and embrace their differences.

[ Back to the intense trailer voice ] 

"In this timeless heart-warming tale Barry brings a separated world together by reminding us all that whether fruit or vegetable we can all find common ground."

Just to be honest my motivation for writing children books yes would somewhat be for children but mostly for adults. I love reading children’s books because they speak more profoundly to me than “grown up” books. I think we have gotten so far past the simplicity of what really matters in life and in loving people. I also like the idea of how people in our society who are different or feel like outsiders or feel like they are caught in-between two different worlds are often times the bridge between those two worlds connecting, empathizing and understanding each others perspectives and heart cries. 

SO, if you are an advocate for The Brave Little Tomato in print, shoot me a message or comment and maybe I’ll start a Kickstarter. A little encouragement goes a long way. And I can say with all honesty that each person that has reached out recently encouraging me to write more has literally been the reason why there are words on this page. This blog specifically because of a text from my close friend Peter. Thanks Pete!

May Your Love Be Strong,

Joey

[Hello Lonely]

There are two types of Lonely

1. Where you are all alone and you feel alone

2. When you are around other people but you still feel alone

I think type two is worse but I want to talk about type one.

Loneliness is one of the Dirty 3 that silently plague our culture here in America but are rarely openly talked about (Loneliness, Depression, Anxiety).

They aren’t talked about because you don’t want to be that person at a dinner party, or the buzzkill in your friend group. But they are real. And they are felt.

Recently I have been feeling super lonely and it’s one of those things that keeps you in this repetitive cycle. 

a) You feel lonely 

b) You want people to feel sorry for you / You listen to music which reinforces your feelings of loneliness

c) You isolate yourself 

d) You compulsively go on social media until you feel WAY more lonely

e) Then you watch Netflix then go to bed. Cycle begins next time you begin to feel lonely.

I hate it, but at the same time I secretly enjoy something about it that I can’t put my finger on. It reminds me of when I was in college and since I didn’t drink until I was 21 I would spend most weekend nights by myself in my dorm room or driving around LA until I got lost. Then I would use the freeways to find my way back to the place I lived but honestly didn’t feel like I belonged. I would blast music which made me feel free and frustrated at something that was in the way of me and me finding a group of people that I could really, truly connect with. I remember during these moments thinking to myself how interesting it would be if my life were secretly a reality tv show like the Jim Carrey movie where everyone is watching him 24/7. I’d laugh to myself as the rushing wind blew through my hair and then I’d turn up the music as I sped a little faster past the speed limit. 

Loneliness. It makes me think, how many people feel it but don’t want to admit it.

Loneliness. It makes me think, how many people have been trapped in it for years and years and years.

Loneliness. It makes me think, the Beatles spoke truth when they said “All the lonely people where do they all come from?"

Loneliness. Hello, I won’t deny you. I will acknowledge you. But I won’t get comfortable with you again. Because I know my true self is found in community.

May your love be strong,

Joey

[Netflix & Chill]

Now I know what you are thinking because that’s what everyone is thinking. Yes, this is kind of about Netflix. And more so about Chilling. But not the metaphorical meaning that both of those put together mean, AKA sex.

But I ACTUALLY wanted to talk about Rest because a) I think it is one of the things that we as a culture are most deprived of and b) I don’t think we know how to do it. A lot of people think it looks like 'I am going to take a day to just not do anything’, or when I get home from my miserable job I am just going to binge on Netflix. Both are logical ideas but I want to propose something new. 

Rest does not equal doing nothing. Rest equals being filled up. And I think sometimes it actually takes some effort to Rest.

Also, I think a lack of Rest leads to us being drained, and us reaching out in unhealthy ways for things, that become habits, that then become addictions that then become cyclical patterns in our life that trap us in seasons of discontent which then become our life, and that’s what we are stuck with.. At least that’s how we feel.

We aren’t taught how to rest in school. We are actually taught through our culture that busyness is admirable, so we stay busy and wear that badge of honor with pride. Meanwhile, we don’t have time for the things that really matter like meaningful connection with valuable friends, or calling an old friend from high school up, etc. You get the point. Busyness robs us of meaningful connection. And we keep ourselves preoccupied with busy because it makes us feel important. 

So what do we do? Or what SHOULD we do?

First, we need to find out what fills us up. What makes us come alive? What makes time fly by? Which friendships do we have that when we are around those people we leave feeling refreshed? There are givers and takers and there are certain friends that we have who truth be told are takers. We leave those coffee dates or hangouts feeling drained. But there are also friends who are like a refreshing drink to our souls. So choose to prioritize these friendships during times of Rest. Because your soul needs them.

Second, take a day to do it. There is this old principle that goes back thousands of years and it is called Sabbath. It started in the Jewish culture with the Ten Commandments. It is the Fourth one. God told his chosen people, the Jewish people, to take one day to rest. But He didn’t just tell them to rest, God actually rested himself. After 6 days of creating the world and everything in it, He took a day to rest. If God needs rest then we probably do too. The thing about taking a day is that it creates a boundary for us to protect. It’s a day for you, for your soul. But also, a day to thank God and seek Him. I can go deeper into this because I really believe in the power of having a Sabbath. And I really believe that it essentially is a demonstration of us trusting in God that with Jesus the work is finished, our sin is gone and we can connect with God and live in the fullness of life and purpose, but that is a different blog for another time. Now, back to Rest.

Thirdly, and lastly become ok with saying "No" to people. Especially when you have a day designated for Rest. Honestly, I struggle with this and am in the process of learning it. I don’t like to preach that which I struggle to practice but I believe in this and know that it is something that I need and most likely you do as well. If you can’t say "No" to people then you don’t truly have a Yes. Often times we can get so lost saying Yes to everyone else that we are saying No to ourselves. Now some of you might say "Joey are you saying be selfish and self-centered?”. I am not saying that at all. I am saying however, that if you are not filled up then you have nothing to pour out. You cannot give away that which you do not have. So first, figure out what YOU want to say Yes to, then accordingly say No to the things that don’t line up with that. Bam, easy, simple.

So, Rest. 1) Find out what fills you up 2) Take a day to do it 3) Say "No" to people.

That’s it. I guess I didn’t talk much about Netflix but I think I said what was on my mind and that’s what counts. Thanks for letting me share.

May your love be strong,

Joey

[$12 An Hour!]

Gratefulness is a game changer and I had a funny encounter the other day that made me realize just how good I have it.

I have been in an interesting season in life. I am working at a church and part time at a bakery. At the bakery I get paid $12 an hour and a few weeks back I was complaining to myself about how I’m 27 years old, still figuring things out and just making $12/hour at this bakery. Anyways, I am the pastor on call one morning at my church, this consists of greeting and taking care of any homeless folks that come in and need food or clothes. 

I arrive a couple minutes late and there are two homeless guys who are already there. I apologize to Barbara the lady at the front desk who had to help them without me. Then I scramble over to the guys and ask them what they need and how I can help them. One of them goes into a long list of specific things that he needs. A sporty t shirt that fits his style, nice athletic size 11 shoes, some nice pants 38W by 32L, and the list goes on. I write down each of these needs then before I can go back to check the clothes closet he tells me that they are on a tight schedule and need to be at another appointment very soon. So I hurry to the back and look for the clothes.

Turns out we don’t have many of the items that he requested so I get the closest things and bring them back. The guy meets me at the door, let’s just call him Jerry, and Jerry looks through what I have “NO, NO, NO, hmm YES, NO, YES, YES” he grabs the three items then walks back over to the table where his stuff and his friend is.

About this time another homeless guy walks in. I am starting to lose my patience because of the entitled nature of Jerry and the lack of gratitude that he displayed. It felt like he was shopping for his perfect style and since we didn’t have it he was a dissatisfied customer. So I greet this new guy, Barbara grabs him a lunch and I ask him what I can get for him. He tells me the clothes that he’s looking for, some pants, a long sleeve shirt and a short sleeve. I run to the back to grab those things.

As I return I walk over to this guy, we’ll call him Marshall, and I tell him what I’ve got and I show it to him. He grabs one of the shirts and says “Ohhh”. As he’s holding it, I am thinking to myself this guy better not be as ungrateful as the last guy or I will probably just take all the clothes back. But then something special happened, his look of surprise went into a huge smile and he said “This is perfect!” so I showed him the next shirt and he got even more excited! Then I showed him the pants, planning on only giving him 2 pairs but as I handed them to him he kept saying thank you and these are perfect and so I gave him the third pair as well. 

After giving Marshall the clothes he started telling Barbara and I about his life how he was married and his life fell apart as he got addicted to drugs became an alcoholic and how he was just starting to get his life back on track. He told us about this job that he recently applied to and he said the manager talked to him and said “Marshall we are going to pay you $12 per hour”, then he looked at me with his jaw dropped and repeated it “TWELVE DOLLARS PER HOUR! Can you believe that?!” I thought to myself, Wow, I was just complaining about $12/hour, this is a nice wake up call for me. As we kept talking Barbara told me how Marshall had shared his lunch with the other two guys who arrived earlier even though they had already received their own lunch from us. 

Barbara was so blown away by Marshall’s gratitude, generosity and thankful heart that she went to the closet to grab some nice long sleeve dress shirts for him. I was so impacted by it that I also went back there to grab some more food for him. He probably said “Twelve Dollars An Hour!!!” about 12 times while we were talking and then when he left he had a huge bag of clothes and food to last him throughout the week.

I thought to myself afterwards how gratitude attracts more blessing. And how the way God sees us when we are entitled to things was the way I saw Jerry as he was dissatisfied with his limited selection of clothes but the way God sees us when we are thankful for the little things is the same as how I saw Marshall when he said “Ohhh this is PERFECT!” and then I started giving him everything I had in my hands and went back to grab more!

Thankfulness is truly the game changer. We are blessed beyond compare. Now yes there is always someone who has more than us, but there are billions more people that have less than us. Three billion people live on less than $2.50 a day, that’s almost half the world’s population! And gratitude is a choice. You can focus on what you have or on what you don’t have. 

When we are thankful, especially towards God, we start seeing all the gifts and blessings He has given us. I have a challenge for you and it’s something I have been trying to do the last few days. Designate 3 minutes each day to being thankful for what you have. If it’s first thing in the morning it’s even better. Trust me, it will change your day. Thanks for letting me share.

May your love be strong (And your gratitude),

Joey

[Starts w/ Basil]

I am a dreamer. I am a passionate person. And I have wayyy too many interests for any one man.

That being said, recently my fascination has been gardening. And No.. I do not have a garden, I don’t even have a potted plant on the back porch or a tree that I water occasionally but I have been wanting to build a garden for probably a year now!

Growing up on an apple orchard I was around plants and trees and getting dirt on my hands but I didn’t appreciate it as much as I do now. Until I went to college I thought it was normal growing up with 13 acres of apple trees and raising sheep and chickens, but to my surprise it was not so normal to many people I encountered.

Getting back to the planting. I talked about starting a garden. I considered buying wood from the hardware store or getting a lone tomato plant and starting easy but it never happened. The days went by and I felt like it was never gonna happen. I went from busyness to trying to catch up and garden was nowhere on my itinerary.

One day I was hooping it up with some high school guys and afterwards an old lady gave me two potted basil plants with like 9 little basil sprouts in each. She told me “Make sure to water them and once they grow a little taller take out all but 2-3 of the sprouts”.

I arrived home as giddy as a kindergartener whose mom surprised him with a snackpack in his lunch pale. I set the pots on the window ledge in the kitchen, gave them a little water then looked on them as any proud father would. I then said to them “Simba, one day all of this will be yours. Just don’t go into the elephant graveyard”. I didn’t say that actually, but I wish I did.

Anyways! Everyday I watered them, observed any growth in them, then walked away feeling like I accomplished something. After about a week or two I realized that they weren’t growing any larger. At that very moment I remembered what the old lady said to me “If you take the red pill then you“ ..No sorry that’s the Matrix. What she said to me about taking out all but a few of the sprouts.

So I did it. Watered the lonely looking pack. Observed. Walked away proud.

TWO DAYS LATER they were almost twice as high. No joke, they grew like crazy. So I watered. Observed. Walked away proudER. I kept doing it day after day. Now it’s several weeks later and I have some strong looking basil plants and I am well on my way towards starting my own little garden. Never despise the day of humble beginnings. I honestly think that getting these small little basil sprouts was the best thing possible for me in my quest to one day have a full, luscious garden.

I think dreams are the same. And I’m talking aspirations, not nighttime dreams, though those are awesome and I wish I dreamt more and could remember them. But with dreams [aspirations] sometimes we think they have to be this BIG thing or nothing at all. We are so quick to just shut off anything small if it doesn’t resemble the grandiose vision that the beaming child has of being John Wayne on top of the moving train with six shooters drawn. 

But that's a lie. Because a dream always starts with a first step. A leap of faith. Pulling out the other sprouts that are taking the nutrients away from the few things you are going to take seriously and focus on. Then building upon that. Believing in that. Watering that. Fighting for THAT.

So what’s your Dream? And what’s your Basil? Because I am going to have a garden one day. But if I didn’t learn how to take care of a few basil sprouts I’m not sure if I would ever be prepared to maintain a thriving garden.

May your love be strong,

Joey

A New Sound

Something’s coming. And I feel like it’s gonna be big.

The past two, three years have been thick with resistance. But something is on it’s way.

I want to be excited again. I want to be filled with awe and wonder again. I want to be living fully and loving even more abundantly. I want to feel alive!

And I can feel the tension of where expectancy meets reality and where things that have only been spoken of begin to take root and sprout. I feel it coming and it’s gonna be big.

I’m not sure quite yet what it is but I feel like it’s going to change things, shift things, realign things. The resistance that builds even up to this moment proves that it will be worth the fight.

The floodgates are going to be burst open and the wave of the new Renaissance is coming. Art, Creativity, Music, a new Sound is going to be released with the Spirit of God heavy upon it. A sound that heals. A sound that brings hope. A sound that sets free. A sound that brings rest to the insomniacs and peace to the anxiety ridden man. A sound that brings fulfillment to desires we know we have deep down but have never been able to verbalize or explain where they come from or where they go to.

A new Sound is coming. And it’s gonna set people free.

May your love be strong,

Joey

Patience

Patience is difficult. Especially in life when you want to grow. When you want to move on to the next step. When you want to be free from the struggles that seem to keep your mouth just under the surface of the worries and stress waves that are crashing over you.

People say “Patience is a virtue” and expect that just from them telling you that it is going to solve your problem of not being patient. It may be a virtue but it feels like torture.

Patience is not easy. Especially in our culture when we can find the answer in an instant to how many fish a blue whale can fit in its mouth or how fast a pregnant cheetah can run. Culture adds to the problem. Technology is taking us so far away from understanding how to be patient that we just might end up dying from a heart attack if our iPhone 4S takes 3 seconds to load the webpage. Literally.

But what if patience was the most important ingredient to growth? I have a post-it note in my room that says “If you do Process well, you do leadership well”. It’s from a guy named Shav and he said it in a sermon I once heard. It stuck with me. Why? Because I want to be an incredible leader. I want to be someone who uses my influence to better other peoples lives and helps them better other peoples lives. But process takes patience!

Growing up on an apple orchard you understand the agricultural growth cycle. You till the soil. Plant the seed. Water the seed. Prune the branches. Then wait for the harvest. Then gather the harvest. It takes Timmmmme. And seasons. And sometimes when you are freezing in the middle of January (the worst month of the year) you would just like to bite into a ripe Gravenstein apple from your parents' apple orchard. But the trees are bare. And you have to wait until August. 

Patience. I think I’m growing in it. Then again I can hardly sit down to finish this whole blog. Part of me just wants to grab a bowl of Honeycomb cereal right now and call it a night. Also, if I’m honest I’ve probably started 10 books and haven’t had the “patience" to finish one. But who even reads books these days? Doesn’t everyone just get their news from Facebook. Seriously though I think I’m gonna leave and eat some Honeycomb. That just feels right.

May your love be strong (and your patience),

Joey

Coldplay & Cold Showers

There's a dog name Rex that sometimes sneaks into the room through the crack in the door. He has floppy ears, a saggy face and a body that hovers low to the ground. He likes to just sit in the corner. When he walks in the room he steals it all. Excitement, joy, drive, passion, hope, motivation. The mood changes and somehow it is so hard to get out of bed. Even though the light shines in, once Rex is there it feels like it takes twice as much energy and effort just to get the first task of the day done. He is not clever, he is not quick, but he is great at disguising himself. I was tired and just wanted to get some rest last night, forgetting to close the door all the way, and so he snuck in like he sometimes does. Rex has this way of making me think he belongs here. But he doesn't, he never did. So how do I get him to go, to leave, to be gone?

Cold showers.

He can't stand the thought of anything that makes him uncomfortable. Anything that makes him jump. Anything that makes him realize that I can and I will face my issues head on.

So I turn on my music. A song called "Birds" by Coldplay. I start dancing. Getting excited. And I prepare for taking the leap into the abyss of cold water.

I take the first step in, which is the hardest. I think to myself 'It doesn't have to be like this…Yes it has to be exactly like this!'

Then I take the second step, which is the most important step, to fully immerse myself.

Once I am in, it is never as hard as all the thinking and delaying beforehand. And by this time Rex is nowhere to be seen. He doesn't want any part to play with discomfort or risk. He wants me to stay comfortable where I might think about things I could do to change, but never act upon them. But he is gone. Out of sight. Out of mind. So I dance to the crescendo in the Coldplay songwhile I can't quite tell if I am the happiest I've ever been or panicking because of my body telling me "This is really cold, Jose!" (I like to refer to myself as Jose because I've been trying to learn Spanish for a really long time now and if my name is in Spanish when I refer to myself it makes me feel like I am taking this pursuit seriously). And by this time I have just passed the part where the water hits me on the back of my neck, the moment of truth, so with my body adjusted I am good to stay in for awhile.

See if it were up to Rex he would prefer for me to stay in my bed or stay in my room or stay in my house all day because he doesn't want me to move, to change locations, to get out of the environment where it is only me and my thoughts. But when I do, he can't stick around because when I am around other people they encourage me and tell me all that they see in me that is golden and so I start to believe it. And I realize that it is True. And then I start to tell people about the gold I see in them and how they don't have to live with Rex in their room. They can go outside and smile at someone or prepare an extra sandwich in the morning for the homeless guy that sits at that awkward stoplight where we secretly think to ourselves 'I hope it doesn't turn red!'

Because isolation is never a good response when you're going through something heavy. Or when you're caught in an apathetic wave of purposelessness. When we are alone all we have is Rex and our thoughts. And no matter how friendly you are around others, when you are by yourself, the mind becomes a battlefield. But we come alive in community. We are stretched and challenged. We find our purpose around others. But Rex isn't about that life. So we need to kick him out of the door. I like to do it early by starting my day with a cold uncomfortable shower.

May your love be strong,

Jose

[God]

Let's jump into the deep end of the pool.

If we're honest we all want to talk about the deep stuff. That which really matters. And we all want to talk about the stuff that's not really talked about too openly in a casual setting. So let's talk about God.

It's interesting how the way you view God often shapes the way you treat people. People who believe in a generous God tend to be extremely generous. People who believe in a very condemning, judgmental God seem to be that way towards others and people who don't believe in a god are usually their own form of god and the way they see themselves, the way they give themselves grace or a lack there of is how they treat other people.

It's an inside job. Everything starts inside and works it's way outwards.

I think God is full of love, creativity, kindness and generosity. If you think of God He is the very author of existence, the glue that holds everything together, He is the pulse of life. I think He longs to be in a relationship with every person. Not because He needs company but because He delights in us knowing our true identity, which is that we are His children, created in His image. And He is close, not as far as we think.

And I don't think God is about religious rules like making sure you go to church every Sunday, pray a certain amount of times a day or read however many pages of the specified holy book for the religion of choice. I think He's more concerned with your heart. Where your heart is at and how you see Him and love others. Some people stay away from God because of religion, because they think He is boring and is all about them following a set of rules and then if you don't do enough bad things then maybe He will choose you to dance with angels and ride clouds in heaven while listening to "Take on Me" by a-Ha.

But I think He's all about freedom and He wants you to live the freest life you could possibly live. Does that mean that you indulge in every desire you have because it feels right, not at all. That's not healthy or sustainable in any setting. But He wants you to have discernment with your desires and be free to live passionately and wholeheartedly.

Life is full of meaning and everyone has a purpose that is unique to them. If you're not living out your purpose there is a piece to the puzzle that is missing. And I truly believe you cannot know your purpose until you know the God who designed you and until you understand that He is utterly and completely overflowing with Love for you. When you know that in the core of your being you cannot fail at life. If we know that God's love is so great for us then how can we not pour out that love on everyone else around us.

Also, He cannot get over how incredibly proud He is of creating YOU. With all the things you try to change. He wants you to know that there is nothing about you that is a mistake. Not even the way you eat ice cream with the spoon upside down (Me).

A lot of people shut down when they hear the name Jesus because it makes them think of angry Christians who aren't living like the same person they are shouting at other people to believe in. But this is how I see Jesus. He is gentle, He is a great listener, and He is an amazing friend. Fully man, fully God, the perfect bridge between the brokenness of humanity and the holiness of heaven. And it's crazy to think of a God who becomes a man to experience pain, suffering, and to wash men's dirty feet, the ultimate sign of being a servant to someone else. What that signifies is complete loco craziness. It doesn't make sense. If God washed man's feet how much more should we serve others, how much more should we have conversations with homeless people and help dignify them through our actions. How much more should we Desire to serve when there's no gain involved because every moment we do so we are becoming more like God Himself.

God is big and we can't fit Him in our boxes. We should be fascinated and in awe of Him and we should be curious and desire to know Him. He is worth seeking. He is not boring. He is the author of your biggest dreams.

In the words of Marcus Mumford - Awake my soul, for you were made to meet your Maker

May you experience the strong love of God,

Joey

[Offendedness]

I have a wall in my room where I write down the names of people to pray for, things to give thanks for and goals or just things that I want to keep on my mind. I just wrote a new one down:

"Going into 2017 I refuse to be offended"

Offendedness.

We carry so much of it. We expect people to read our minds and know how offended we are by something small they said that triggered a negative emotion that we have a poor response to because of a bad experience we had when we were a child and since there is no possible way for them to know about that experience or my reaction to that word they should have read my mind and known that I was offended. But now I'm going to try my best to hold it in and not show them hoping that at the same time they will have no clue I am feeling this turmoil inside they will also somehow decide to say sorry for something they have no clue about.

Offendedness.

I once heard a wise man say "Offendedness is the one thing that will steal your calling" and I think that is a very true statement. Because offendedness has a way of getting us more focused on the problem than the solution. It has a way of attuning our ears more to the birds chirping than the conviction and drive we have deep inside that we must pursue and go after this thing we are so passionate about. It has this way of keeping us in a constant mindset of distraction and finding more things that will offend us so that we can prove to some unknown judge or council that we deserve to be the most offended out of anyone. And even if we do win that prize what does it prove? That we had the most odds stacked against us? Because last I checked if you're gonna win a game you have to focus on defeating the odds rather than pointing out to everyone how many odds there are. That sounds more like you're preparing to lose.

Offendedness.

It's so deeply rooted in our culture that we often don't even recognize it. We are told in adds, we are told by social media that it's our right, we deserve to be offended! There's a difference between standing for justice and standing for being offended though. Often times the big teller is Action. Martin Luther King, Jr didn't talk about how offended he was he shared his vision of hope for the future with others. He literally impregnated people with hope. He gave them a glimpse of a better world. Offendedness rests in the same world and apathetically says "nothings gonna change but I deserve to be felt sorry for".

Now I'm going to leave you with a challenge: REFUSE to be offended in 2017, talk through things with people, learn to communicate what you are feeling inside and have never brought to the surface. You'll be surprised by how receptive people are and how much people wished you brought that to light sooner. And just choose not to be offended. It's a choice. For some people it's easier than others. Some people have much more stacked against them, which makes it something that you own that much more. There is SO much more for you on the other side when you refuse to lose the battle to offendedness. 

Good night ladies and gentlemen. Tell your mom how much you love her tomorrow. It will mean more than you know. Over and out.

May your love be strong,

Joey

[Asking Good Questions]

Everyone has a story to tell. And everyone wants to share that story. Because only in sharing it and being known can you experience true connection. As humans what gives us purpose and value is experiencing connection. We want it. We need it. We desperately yearn for it and without it we become a mummified version of ourselves, stale, apathetic, and buried deep in the mess of our minds.

My point is this, we all want to be known. I think that is why we are always trying to figure out what to say to people or how to impress people. In the midst of this however, we have a lot of people talking and very few people listening. And even fewer people asking Good questions that get to the heart of who someone really is and what they are passionate about.

We are so focused on being known that we think 'why would I waste time getting to know someone else?'. The funny thing about this is that it is so backwards. People don't care what you know until they know that you care. And once they see that you do care, they really want to know you!

Asking good questions is an art. And a lost art at that.

What asking good questions shows is that you are curious, you are fascinated, and you value the person you are having a conversation with. By asking questions that dig deeper into who someone really is you are essentially saying "You are worth my time and you are worth my fascination".

Whether you think Jesus is awesome or not one thing he was incredible at was asking good questions that got to peoples hearts. And in doing that he was saying to that person "I am about you and you have a story that I want to hear because you deserve to be known". He found the one thing that he shared in common with the person across from him and connected over that. There's a story about a woman at a well who it would be totally culturally taboo to talk to or to even stand next to and they literally had nothing in common. She was a different ethnicity, she had a different religion, she was a different class, and she was a woman, which in those days was not something you did in public. So he connected with her over the one thing they had in common. Water. Because everyone drinks water right? Ha! What if we focused more on what we had in common with people than the one think we don't have in common? There would be a lot less arguments and a lot more people feeling loved and known.

So,

Ask good questions. Be fascinated with every person you meet. And focus on that one thing you have in common when you find yourself preparing an argument for why that person across from you is "wrong".

May your love be strong,

Joey

(The picture is of my friends Kyler, Peter and Tyler in Yosemite this past summer. We had an incredible time together touring and asking good questions during the time we spent together in the car. We each ended up growing so much from hearing each others perspectives and having true depth in our conversations)

[Learning 2 Stand]

While I was in California with three of my close friends playing house shows, starting a music festival and chasing our dreams, one of the most memorable things was the conversations we had during the down time.

In the car we would play a game in which we weren't allowed to use any filler words in conversation such as "um", "like", "so", "I feel like" or other things that dilute conversation. When we would use a filler the other guys would make eye contact with that person and deliver a point of disapproval with two fingers. It was a great game and I found myself speaking much slower and considering each of my words with tact. It helped with direct communication.

I found that these filler words are used in hopes to not offend people or to take a softer stance on things in order to come off as more temperate. Here's the deal though. You're gonna offend people. But all you can control is your own actions, you can't control how people respond to them. And it is a waste of energy to try to control that which you have no power over.

I've been so self-conscious about sharing my faith with people or even telling them about the joy and purpose it gives me. But it's part of who I am, and it's the reason why I act the way I do. And honestly, if it weren't for Jesus I would probably be a douche bag. I wouldn't love people very well and I sure wouldn't be fascinated with others. I would be very selfish and only do things that gave me pleasure or satisfaction. Heck no would I work for a company that serves the homeless. Heck no would I live in a halfway house as the house manager battling bed bugs for two months. Heck no would I spend a significant amount of time every week hanging out with kids who need to know that they are loved and significant and they have a bright future ahead. The best characteristics that people would attribute to me I can only attribute to Jesus transforming my heart.

But we live in a culture where you don't talk about your faith because it isn't cool. All of a sudden it's awkward. Honestly, it's the realest thing that I have.

We need to start to have real conversations where people are talking about what really matters to them. We hold so much back in fear that we will offend someone else. The thing is when people are offended that's a heart issue in them that they need to address because offense always points to an area of hurt in someone's heart that needs to be addressed in a healthy way.

You can only stand for something when you are willing to fall for that same thing. And it's funny how it's taken me 26 years and I'm just learning how to stand.

May your love be strong,

Joey

[10 Days of Real]

I couldn't sleep last night so I thought I would write one of these.

Icebergs. I was watching a show on icebergs a few days ago and they are fascinating. Did you know that 7/8ths of their mass is below the surface? It's called the Keel. It got me thinking about how similar we humans are to icebergs. The majority of who we are is under the surface, it's that which is not visible to the eye, but still we spend so much energy and time trying to make that 1/8th look perfect, look fine, fit in, when in reality we are in desperate need of a friend or someone to tell us that everything will be all right and we can be honest with ourselves about where we are at.

Facebook is so corny. Facebook is so fake. It is everyone putting on their best face and making things seem like they are perfect. In reality we all end up losing in this game because we keep striving to upkeep this manipulated version of ourselves that is always doing fine and then on top of that we see other people who are "always doing fine" and their lives, jobs, marriages, travel experiences, engagements all seem to be flawless. Here's a secret that I'm gonna blow. No one is actually at this place. We all have crap going on. We all are hurting. And we all can't do it on our own.

As the Millennial generation we are so desperate for "Real". We are actually STARVING for Real. We want it so bad that just at the sight of it everyone else watching exhales and says to each other "Wow, really? You can actually do that? You can be Real, you can be vulnerable and things will work out ok? People will still accept and love you?" Yes. At least the people that matter in your life. The others, frankly you shouldn't have been wasting your time with them in the first place.

We care so much about what other people think that we determine our self worth based upon their opinion of us. That is a horrible foundation to base our lives upon. Peoples' opinions are subject to change which means that our value is bound to change depending on someone else's mood. All the while you are loved by a kind God who intricately designed you and wants you to know Him so that you understand how important and how irreplaceable you are. You are significant. And you have inherent value independent of your past, your current circumstances, your looks, your capabilities, your broken relationships, etc. And you were born to be a conqueror! To thrive at life, not just survive.

"You wouldn't worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do" -Eleanor Roosevelt. Thanks Ellen. We all needed to hear that.

So this is what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna spend the next 10 days posting things about Real life. Of not just the highs or things that make me look like I have it all together but also the lows and the in betweens. I challenge you to do this as well, to reevaluate how you are presenting yourself and to come to this realization of "I can be Real, I can be myself and people will not only be ok with that but they may be inspired and encouraged to be themselves as well". It is exhausting trying to be someone else when you were created to only be you. And no matter how hard you try to be someone else you can't be them because they are already taken! So be you, and be real. Alright, here it goes.. Ten days of Real. This might get messy.

-Joey

California Dreaming Tour - Kyler's European Bathing Suit (part 2)

It has been just over 3 weeks since the Gravenstein Music Festival and I am still recovering from the incredible experience. It was.. let's just say one that I'll never forget. If you read the last blog then you know how I was feeling jumping into this California Dreaming Tour. It was a total leap of faith. Starting from the top!

Day 1:  So Pete, Tyler, Kyler and I landed at LAX on a hazy Tuesday morning, hopped into an overpriced mini van and booked it for the Pacific, cue music . We all stared in awe and wonder at Kyler's European Bathing suit (he had recently gotten back from Barcelona), we plunged into the refreshing water at Hermosa Beach, played a song for two pretty ladies on the beach, then ordered Monkey Style at In N Out (I convinced the California rookies that it was called Monkey, not Animal Style Ha!). That evening we played an intimate house show at a family friend's house in a quiet suburb of LA called Melrose. My mom mailed down some of my brother's wine for the show and Michael (the host) went above and beyond to make us feel welcome and create a warm environment for people to truly enjoy the experience. It was the perfect first show to the tour. I reconnected with college friends, professors, rugby coaches, saw my brother Cooper and we finished with a backyard aftershow, jamming until late at night. It was truly a magical evening. The Nashville Yacht Club had a strong start to its maiden voyage (this was the first tour for our songwriter's collective group).

Day 2: We woke up at 6am and booked it for San Diego. Shredded the gnar (kinda, but not really) on a sunny SoCal beach for several hours then made our way to my friend Greg's house for some of the best BBQ ribs of my life made by his incredible girlfriend, Sam. After our taste buds descended back down from heaven, we left for Grotto rock climbing gym, our venue that evening. Playing in a rock climbing gym presented the unique challenge of having to lure avid climbers to listen to us. We began by playing very quietly to bring them in close. Our small beginning crowd of 5 or 6 increased by the end to around 15-20 dedicated listeners. While playing we just focused on doing our thing and the four of us didn't miss a beat. Every venue we played besides the festival we did the Nashville writer's round style so all four of us were in front with one person playing an original song as the others accompanied. Then the next person would go. That evening I got word from my friends in San Luis Obispo that they were not able to secure a location for us to play at so we had an interesting challenge before us for the upcoming day of trying to find a place to play with such short notice.

Day 3: We left SD and on the ride up the coast we started calling all types of venues we could think of. Peter decided to call churches and got scolded by multiple old ladies telling him that to book a venue you are supposed to do it weeks ahead, not the day of. He replied with a kind "Yes I understand but our show for tonight was cancelled, that's why I'm doing it hours beforehand". Kyler emailed a popular restaurant/brewery called SLO Brew and we fortunately got a quick response back. Kyler being the king of cool secured the deal and the boys were back in business! We grabbed burritos in Santa Barbara for a late lunch at Freebirds, serenaded a random guys girlfriend with "Let Me Love You" by Mario because it was her birthday, then enjoyed the beautiful California coast and rolling hills until we arrived in San Luis. We barely found parking because the main road was blocked off because of a parade happening downtown. Rushed in to SLO Brew, played a two hour set and lit the place on fire with dancing and singing. Sometimes you can quantify how much people really enjoyed the show by how many beer glasses were broken from people dancing their hearts out. Our tally for the night was 2, which I'll say was a success. Our aftershow that night was a moving aftershow. We played on the street featuring "Give me the Beat Boys", "Bailando", and "Barefoot Blue Jean Night". When we played Bailando the guy was from Mexico and did not expect one word of Spanish to come out of my mouth. After the song he shoved a handful of one dollar bills in the body of my guitar (A first time experience for me). We ended up sleeping in a canary yellow RV named La Tortuga that my buddies Pat and Riley so generously allowed us into. It was parked with a slant so I had to create a hitch in my blanket to keep me from rolling off.

Day 4: We drove up the beautiful PCH, Highway 1. We had some of the best conversation in the car that I've ever had. And it was every day. I was challenged, we each grew and it was nothing but real honesty and openness. Our jam was this catchy tune as we soaked in the rustic beauty of Big Sur and the waves crashing on the shore. We made it up to San Francisco to pick up our friends Cody and Justin (The magician), then safely arrived in my hometown of Sebastopol. My mom had prepared an incredible steak dinner but before I had to run into the apple orchard and eat a fresh Gravenstein Apple. It was everything I had remembered it to be and then some. I was in my happy place, apple in hand as I gazed at the red sky over the hills of wine country. What tomorrow was to bring I had no clue but I was content and knew God was good, He had brought me this far and all I could do at this point in anticipation for the festival was relax and with palms open.

To be continued…

May your love be strong,

Joey

P.s. If you want a t-shirt or crewneck with a design from the apple fest and you live in Nashville message me. I can get one to you for only like $10-20ish!